Mrs Dodkins wasn't delighted when someone wrote 'Shirley Dodkins is a boss-eyed spunk badger' on the whiteboard in huge red letters.
Your problems solved, with Holly Harper
Wednesday, May 16th, 2012France surrenders to Thor
Wednesday, May 16th, 2012PRESIDENT Francois Hollande has confirmed France’s unconditional surrender to the Norse god of thunder.
Dalai Lama goes off on one about sales calls
Wednesday, May 16th, 2012TIBET'S spiritual leader has delivered an extraordinary rant about the things that do his head in.
Murdoch to buy UK prison system just in case
Tuesday, May 15th, 2012Jails to gain stables, large tasteful private living areas.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Tuesday, May 15th, 2012Virgo (23 AUG-22 SEP)
Paying to join that uniform dating site proves a total waste of money as there’s nobody else on it dressed as a snowtrooper from Empire Strikes Back.
Ukulele market crashes
Tuesday, May 15th, 2012THE second-hand value of a beginner-level ukulele has plummeted to £1.12 after thousands simultaneously lost interest in the stringed instrument.
Fathers pretend to want internet porn ban
Tuesday, May 15th, 2012A PROPOSED new service to block internet porn has met with fake enthusiasm from fathers.
Greeks apologise with huge horse
Tuesday, May 15th, 2012THE nation of Greece said sorry to the European Union with a present of an enormous wooden horse.
Battery-powered book a surprise hit
Monday, May 14th, 2012A TYPE of book with a battery has proved popular despite being pointless.
No word for autism in Danish
Monday, May 14th, 2012BBC4 viewers have called on Scandinavia to incorporate its dysfunctional policewomen into the autistic spectrum.