Huge lizards off their tits.
What’s on – Walking with Dinosaurs That Are Mashed on Drugs
Friday, May 18th, 2012Receptionist shocked to discover sidebar fame
Friday, May 18th, 2012A 22-YEAR-OLD Londoner has been amazed to find more than a hundred stories about her weight, dress sense and love life on the Daily Mail's website.
Owen vows to continue top-flight sitting
Friday, May 18th, 2012MICHAEL Owen believes his career in being seated can continue at the highest level after leaving Manchester United.
Euros disintegrating in sunlight
Friday, May 18th, 2012EURO banknotes are dissolving into thin air at the touch of the sun as if they were never real.
Yoda: Corporate bitch I now am
Friday, May 18th, 2012ONCE-GREAT Jedi Master Yoda will flog anything for cash, it has emerged.
The perfect mentally-unhinged macaron recipe
Thursday, May 17th, 2012HOW to make macarons while struggling with your legion of inner demons.
Online comment-writers to get own internet
Thursday, May 17th, 2012A NEW internet is to be created for people who like writing comments, so everyone else can enjoy surfing the web without their torrents of bile.
England fans gripped by opposite of fever
Thursday, May 17th, 2012THE announcement of England’s squad has triggered no excitement ahead of the Euro 2012 tournament.
UK ‘will return to Stone Age by 2014′
Thursday, May 17th, 2012BRITAIN will be a prehistoric barter economy within two years, the Bank of England has predicted.
Joey Barton ‘based personality on Swayze in Road House’
Wednesday, May 16th, 2012FOOTBALLER Joey Barton has confessed to stealing his philosophising tough guy persona from the lead character in the 1989 movie Road House.