New Xbox will revolutionise sitting on your fat arse
MICROSOFT'S Xbox One heralds the dawn of a new era in sitting on your fat lazy backside.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG)
After enjoying Norman Tebbit’s views on sexuality this week, you can’t wait to read Eric Pickles’s thoughts on jogging.
Motorists and cyclists unite against pedestrians
CAR and bike owners have agreed that they hate people who travel on foot.
Gay marriage will affect things that don’t matter, reveals Tebbit
GAY marriage could force Britain to read about a newly married lesbian queen opening a hospital, it has emerged.
Caviar scandal ‘like a not very good parable’
CHEAPER caviar being passed off as high-end sevruga caviar probably amounts to a parable of some kind, it has been claimed. Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Sevruga caviar is a luxury favoured by the disgustingly rich. “But they were all duped, partly perhaps by their own vanity and arrogance. “There’s a [...]
Apple fans queue overnight for tax avoidance scheme
APPLE'S diehard fans are queuing outside the company's stores eager to snap-up the latest beautifully designed way of avoiding tax.
Stephen Hawking: Why I refused to DJ in Tel Aviv
I must admit being flattered when I was asked to spin in Tel Aviv last weekend.
Retired footballers start tropical detective agency
FORMER Premier League players have joined forces to fight crime in exotic locations.
Doctors’ receptionists urged to be less terrifying
PATIENTS have asked doctors' receptionists if they can please stop looking at them like that.
Kevin McCloud lives on new-build estate
GRAND Designs presenter Kevin McCloud lives on an estate called The Glades, it has emerged.